Today Marks 1yr.


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I stayed up really late last night after writing your letter and sending it off via balloon, maybe subconsciously to avoid waking up to today.

One year ago today, I lost my husband. I hate that sentence. I hate the part before the comma and I certainly hate the part after the comma. I hate today. I hate the memories of a year ago today.

The start of the second year has also caused me to pause and reflect back on my first year as a widow.

I miss you my Love. ❤


Self Doubt


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Over the weekend I went to a Edgewalkers event. Met wonderful people. They welcomed me.

Friday night I walked on Fire. Found the one red coal but survived non the less. When I got off the path and stepped into the kiddy pool I cried. Tried not to but I did. It wasn’t because it hurt. It was because Bear got to see it from Heaven. He missed the last one.

Saturday, I arrived to late for the hook pull.

Sunday, I wasn’t in the mindset for the suspension. It was great to watch. But I couldn’t do it. A major part of me did.. But self doubt kept me.from missing a great experience.

I am hoping next time I can fulfill this journey I seek.


So It Snowed In The Swamps of Louisiana.


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Today has been a interesting day.

Louisiana gets snow about ever 10 yrs or so. Nothing that ever sticks. But today broke the record.

This is typically a Louisiana Snowman.

But I think Mother Nature & our faboulous state had a conversation something like this.

Mother Nature: You can’t have all the seasons in one week.

Louisiana: Hold my beer. 🍺

I wake up to a broken heater. It gave up on life in the middle of the night and was blowing cold air when I got up for work. It said it wasn’t ready…

Mad dash before leaving for work making sure the kids are going to be toasty. (You know because they cancelled school and all.) 

Open my front door, head outside to defrost my poor truck… She’s not liking this either.

Farking kidding me…. I still have to drive 45 minutes to work. It’s not so bad, but peps here can’t drive on dry roads on a good day.

I get to the local center to pick up my transport… Come outside and my truck is already covered again in Mother Natures white splooge… 

This accumulated on a random persons vehicle by the Mandeville Center.

Anyways, so for Christmas 2017, the children got to make a swamp snowman.

Today was a good day for the kiddos. 

Unfortunately, at 9:51p the white stuff is still lingering on the ground. Because it’s going to freeze tonight, the Parish put a 10pm curfew on us.

Tomorrow, everything will slushy or frozen puddles. This should be a interesting commute to work.

Have a wonderful day folks.

Much Love,

Baby Dragon 🐉

Reaching Out


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So, I did a thing. 

I reached out to the lady who killed my husband a little over 3 months ago.

(This is the lady.)

I sent her a text. I don’t know if she will respond. If she doesn’t, then I don’t think I will ever have peace of mind.

I wasn’t angry. Just wanted to know how she was holding up. honestly genuinely concerned. 

Today is not such a good day for me.

°°°Just Breathe°°°

I miss you Bear….